How It Feels To Have A Learning Disability

#Learningdisability #foradults #stayingstrong #Itsok #mamashaveittoo

I’m always writing about my children but I feel like I want to share a little about myself. This isn’t something I like to think about let alone share it with the world. I believe I have a learning disability and I never realized it until I started teaching my oldest son.

When I was younger I had trouble with reading. Not really reading as much of comprehending what I was reading. I never wanted to tell anyone. I never asked for help and I tried to hide from it. I always hated school and since kindergarten, I would count

down until I could graduate. I remember back when I was in 4th grade, I was getting D’s in all my classes. That’s when I learned to start CHEATING!! At such a young age I thought that was the answer to my problems. I totally regret now that cheated all throughout school.

It kind of makes me mad thinking back why nobody saw I was having a problem. I was the quiet, shy girl that tried to stay under the radar. Why didn’t anybody notice that my homework and classwork was all A’s? Once the test was in my face I failed every test. I passed by doing extra credit work and CHEATING on all my other work. I was the youngest out of four girls, so it was pretty easy convincing my sisters I needed “help” with my homework. (they ended up doing it for me)

Once I got into high school, that’s when things started to change. We had to take a standardized tests in 10th grade which I kept failing and failing and failing. After several test, I was able to pass all of them but reading. 11th grade went by and still, I didn’t pass it. 12th grade comes and I switched school so I could focus on my reading and take extra reading classes. This is when I started really pushing myself to do all my work myself. Once again I was getting all A’s but failing test.

All my teachers tried to help but it just wasn’t working. They would put me in a room all by myself so I wouldn’t get distracted while I was testing. I only think that made it worse for me. I couldn’t read without thinking what everyone else was doing. The passages were boring. I had no interested in them so I would start reading than a few minutes later I was thinking about what I had to do after school. I could not focus and once it came down to me answering the questions I was such an over thinker. I got so bad that I convinced myself that there couldn’t be two C answers together.

My mom was getting so annoyed that this standardized test was holding me back. My mother then called our local news crew to come out and tell my story. I was, of course, kind of embarrassed but I knew that it was going to help the future children, I was up for the challenge. (A year later the school board did change the rule, if their grades were good they could at least walk with their class.)

It was getting close to graduation and this one standardized test was holding me back to walk with my class. (everyone I grew up with) Straight A’s my senior year, I got a top 10% of my class reward, and I my Cum laude sash presented to me. Yet, I couldn’t walk across the stage with my friends instead I get an INVITATION/TICKET to watch all my friends graduate. Of course, I was happy for all of them but was incredibly sad that I wasn’t up there.

I have my principle tell me to take the GED test and see if I can pass it. Of course, I fail it. I study it again and one more time I finally PASS it. I’m relieved. Finally, I passed a test but then I get really pissed. All this time and stress I had and I could have taken my GED the whole time. I told myself that I was never going to school again. Also, if my children are ahead and they want to take the GED at 15, I was going to let them.

I went on with getting my directors credential and worked with preschoolers and toddlers and I loved it. But once I had my oldest son, I realized I wanted to stay home with him and teach him everything. It’s of course kind of easy teaching children their letters, numbers, colors, and shapes. But I wanted to homeschool him. I was nervous because of my past but I also knew how I was ignored and shuffled about in public school, I didn’t want that to happen to him. I homeschool him with help of a flex virtual school to keep on track.

My boys are very smart and I’m so grateful they don’t have a learning disability that I had to deal with. I watch my oldest learn so quickly. I have to say something one time and he catches on. For me, I remember having such a hard time with something so easy and to see him pick it up makes me so happy. Bradly started kindergarten and is flying through his work. He is doing 2nd-grade reading work already. I honestly couldn’t be happier. I’m so glad that I can be apart of his learning and see exactly what he is doing every day.

So for the children today that have a learning disability, I hope they can overcome their learning disability and they can dream big. Fight for what they want. For the parents of those children, be supportive, don’t give up on them, and be patient. Let them pick out a book and read it together, stop occasionally and ask questions, try to make it fun. Today I love reading mommy blogs and reading all of Nicholas Sparks <a src="//" href=" “>books. I was able to build enough confidence in myself to start my own mommy blog. I think I was able to do it, seeing how smart and strong my boys are. I hope I taught you something or at least gave you a little bit of faith. Love ya, Mary xoxoxo


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